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Tawa dan Tangis

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 “Habis nangis ketawa, habis ketawa ya nangis.” Ungkapan yang entah muncul dari jaman kapan tapi benar adanya. Minggu malam gua dan Kinan telponan. 2,5 jam. Kalo bukan karena udah masuk jam tidur gua, kayanya bisa lanjut sampe berjam-jam. Kaya biasa, banyak yang diobrolin, life updates . Karena kami jarang telponan, jadi sekalinya telponan ga bisa sebentar. Dan isinya lebih banyak ketawanya. Senin pagi, sekitar jam 10, lagi WFH, tiba-tiba gua keinget suatu hal yang bikin gua sedih, terus nangis. Mungkin karena malemnya abis ngobrolin ini sama Kinan, jadi keinget lagi. Sebuah fakta yang ga bisa gua ubah, sekeras apapun gua berusaha. Kalo ini terjadi, gua takes time buat bersedih dan lanjut berdoa dalam hati: Semoga hati ini makin diluaskan dan dilapangkan untuk menerima kenyataan yang ada. Ameen. Abis doa terlintas kalimat di awal, iya ya abis ketawa ya nangis. Shit.

2021: A Peace of Mind

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2021 was a true definition of a roller coaster for me. It was lots of surprises, from the biggest laugh to the silent tears. But, most of all, I’m so grateful I’m still breathing until this time. Quick update, the pandemic is still here and I'm still practicing WFH. Okay, so here’s my highlight for 2021. I wrote it in order of time. 1.        Getting out of my comfort zone: A speaker One of my friends from a college organization asked me to be a speaker on the online talk show. I softly denied it at first because public speaking is something I dislike since a long time ago. I just don’t feel confident talking in front of people. But I accepted it in the end. It was an online event so I thought I can handle it.   The event was live via Instagram for around an hour. I shared about trail running, its mandatory gears, and some tips for beginners. I was so nervous at first, but it went smoothly later. I started enjoying the talk and didn’t realize I talked too much in the end, hahaha. M

Recovery Journey

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Tulisan ini sebagai pengingat bahwa selain patah hati karena cinta, gua pernah ngerasa down karena pemulihan pasca-Covid. Awal Juli, gua dan ortu kena Covid. Waktu itu lagi second wave di Indonesia. Hampir semua faskes penuh. Syukurnya kami cuma gejala ringan, jadi cukup isolasi mandiri (isoman) di rumah selama dua minggu. Gejala gua saat itu tenggorokan ga enak (tapi ga batuk), pilek ringan (meler ingus cair, bukan kental), anosmia, dan gejala paling aneh buat gua adalah badan lesu. Badan tuh kaya ga ada tenaga sama sekali, tapi anehnya ga ada pusing, panas, ataupun demam. Rasanya kaya ketimpa gajah, jadi maunya nempel kasur aja. I’ve never experienced this before. Walau bukan gejala berat, gua tetep konsul ke dokter, saat itu via aplikasi Halodoc. Kata dokter, kondisi gua masih oke, jadi belum perlu obat. Resep yang dikasih pun mostly vitamin, cuma ada satu obat buat pileknya. Selama isoman, gua off lari dulu. Olahraga gua cuma yoga ringan 20-30 menit tiap sore. Setelah d

Apology and Forgiveness

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“What if I’m not survived?” This thought constantly lingered on my mind when I did a self-isolation at home. I got positive for COVID-19 in early July—when the second wave hit Indonesia horribly. It was such a roller coaster condition, emotionally. My parents had it first but thanks to completed doses of vaccine, we only had mild symptoms. My mind was wandering to every corner of possibility, including the thought of me not being survived and left me with no chance to apologize to people whom I did wrong in the past. I knew I will be fine and recover soon but I couldn’t lie that I’m afraid at that time. What if I suddenly have hard breathing then die? I realize the psychological aspect is an important coping mechanism to prepare when a person gets the virus. It was draining. One of the people I feel guilty about is my ex from college. And I know the universe has set up something when I suddenly met him a week ago. It’s been a very long time. 8 years ago! We parted not in a good w

Tiga Digit

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“Kalo dia mah (investasinya) udah tiga digit.” ucap Kinan pada teman kami pada suatu hari empat tahun lalu. Saat itu gua nge- freeze sambil mikir dalam hati, Wait, wait, wait… tiga digit maksudnya SERATUS JUTA? Hah, tabungannya udah sebanyak itu? Kok bisa? Ke mana aja gua??? Inilah kalimat yang jadi titik balik di hidup gua untuk mulai bebenah keuangan. Ya, empat tahun lalu, gua akui gua belum melek finansial. Saat itu gua sedang bekerja di pelosok, sedangkan teman yang udah punya aset tiga digit ini bekerja di ibukota. Sempet mikir, apa karena kerja di Jakarta ya, gajinya pasti lebih tinggi. Tapi, ternyata bukan itu. Pengetahuan dan kemampuan mengelola keuangan adalah hal mutlak. Gaji besar bisa saja habis dalam sekejap kalo gak dibarengi sama ilmu yang mumpuni. 2015, jaman YOLO tapi literasi keuangan ZERO Oke, jadi gua mau berbagi cerita perjalanan membenahi keuangan, sekaligus update perkembangan investasi yang pernah gua ceritain di sini: 3 Investasi untuk Anak Muda . Disclaime

29

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Twenty-nine! One last year to thirties. First, the pandemic still happens. Second, I realize listing 29 things or lessons is just too many. I might consider cutting it next year. 1. Do not take health for granted. Take care of your body while you are healthy. 2. Do not take for granted, anything and anyone. 3. Sleep is underrated. Please get enough sleep, 7 to 8 hours per day. 4. Drink enough water, eat fruits and veggies, do a regular workout, go vaccinated. 5. DECLUTTER everything: stuff, minds, people. 6. Before buying an item, go check the preloved first. There are many preloved items of good quality out there. 7. JANGAN BARBAR. Save as much as you can, then invest it. 8. But, first, learn the products carefully. 9. And do invest in your brain, too. 10. Make a priority. We’re not here to please all people. 11. There are always some people who cannot accept who we are, let them be. 12. Circles are getting smaller in quantity, but richer in quality. 13. Find

Old Soul

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Kinan, my best friend, told me about her experience. A friend of ours was going to study abroad. Kinan gave him something as a gift (Kinan is a very kind woman!) and sent it with a same-day delivery service. A couple hours later, no updates from him if the package has safely arrived. Kinan then opened Instagram just for regular check. There was a notification in her DM, a friend tagged her on a story. And it was him, with a picture of the gift from Kinan. He didn’t tell Kinan directly such as via WhatsApp chat or call and chose to post it on social media instead. Kinan felt a bit pissed. If I were her, I might feel the same. But I see that there is nothing wrong with that. Kinan and our friend have different ways of communication, perspective, and value. Kinan’s story reminds me of something. That I dislike getting friend’s updates through third parties like Instagram, since a long time ago. I once wrote about this back in 2019, you can read it here . In that post, I felt that the mo