2018: Life is Beautiful
Before it’s gone from my mind, I’d like to share my biggest lesson in 2018. If I have to describe in one word, it’s a roller coaster (ups, sorry it’s two words). Stepping into the year with a deep wound, I was totally miserable. Empty. Lost. Useless. I reached a lowest point as a human being that led me once to a thought to donate one of my kidneys if it could make me feel useful again. LOL. Now, I laughed loudly every time I remember that low moment.
So, what’s the biggest lesson of mine for the past year? It’s self-love. Yes, self-love. What is self-love? It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth (www.psychologytoday.com). It allows us to take a moment to see inside ourselves, dive in, and re-recognize the best version of ourselves. We know our strengths and acknowledge weaknesses then try to accept it little by little, step by step. We take a moment to define our purposes and values in life as well.
Heartbreak is hard yet beautiful journey. It taught me that our happiness depends on ourselves, not others. Therefore, it’s important to love ourselves first before we commit to another. I started the journey by reminiscing delightful moments in old times. What makes me laugh and strong, what variables that contribute to my satisfaction level, what kind of people that I’m happy to spend time with, what kind of conversation that makes me excited and fulfilled, what is my true happiness in my simple life. This is a good break to explore what matters and what doesn't.
During the journey of loving myself, I began to realize that, actually, life is beautiful the way it is. The beauty is everywhere, even in small things. It’s giving morning greeting to security officer or cleaning officer in office. It’s helping elder to cross the street or carry groceries. It’s receiving a package of child book from unknown, says they want to take part in charity. It’s watching two good movies in a day, all alone. It’s going on a trip with best friend (solo is also great). It’s reconnecting with nature. It’s giving a tip to driver or meal for breaking the fast. It’s saying Merry Christmas for friends who celebrate. It’s volunteering. It’s bringing a reusable cup for morning coffee. It’s treating foods when hanging out with juniors. It’s saying hi first to the person sitting next when in adventure. It’s having eight hours of sleep. It’s investing in SBN (and feel a bit proud of helping the gov with real action, lol). It’s supporting national athletes and watching the match live. It’s talking with favorite people for hours. It’s meeting old fellas from running community. It’s having a lunch prepared by mom. It’s dancing all of a sudden when favorite song is played. It’s enjoying a city sunset from rooftop. It’s appreciating little things. It can be everything at the time we are able to be grateful for all emotionally-roller coaster-episodes that have happened and keep doing our best to enjoy every second of it. Happiness comes from the inside as we see our soul is originally beautiful. Life itself is beautiful.
Rumi said, “Love is the bridge between you and everything”.
Live sincerely. Live bravely.
|Warmest greeting from Rinjani, a day before earthquake|