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Showing posts from August, 2019

Solitude

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Besides self-love, there's one word that I began to hear frequently during my journey of healing. It’s solitude . "Solitude is the state of being alone without being lonely. It is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone where you provide yourself wonderful and sufficient company. Solitude is a time that can be used for reflection, inner searching or growth or enjoyment of some kind. Deep reading requires solitude, so does experiencing the beauty of nature." (www.psychologytoday.com) Last quarter of 2018, I went through the quietest phase in my life — the same time I started my social media detox. The atmosphere around me was getting quiet but I could accept it. I felt stable. I had less interaction outside, but deeper inside. The urge to going out regularly with friends became less, just waited for those who asked me first or went out with the open-minded ones. I didn't know if solitude

Un-socmed

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I always find it funny; When I lived in Atambua (a small town in the eastern area), I didn't feel lonely at all. Physically, I was far from my support system (families, friends), but mentally, I felt connected as my support system and I maintained good communication. When I moved back to Bekasi (a big city near Jakarta), meaning I was geographically closer to my friends, it was getting lonelier. The emerge of social media significantly changes the way people communicate with each other. Back in 2015 when I was in Atambua, social media was not that hype yet. If I wanted to know how my friends are doing, or vice versa, we would have a call. We had it twice a month at the minimum and could talk for hours. You know, it was such a great feeling to have a talk with some friends after a long time. Coming home in 2018, I assumed I could go out more with my people as we were in the same area already. But, things changed. Priority changed. In this time, social media became a v

Surat untuk Anjani

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Anjani, Rencanaku tahun lalu sesungguhnya bukan datangimu. Ada pantai utara yang ingin kukunjungi bersama seorang teman baik. Kata orang, pantainya biru dan elok. Koneksinya buruk tapi itulah yang kubutuhkan. Melewati dua enam tanpa distraksi dari luar. Hanya aku, teman baikku dan semesta. Duduk hening di tepian sambil memandang langit dan laut yang seakan menyatu, ditemani debur ombak yang mampu meredam gaduhnya hati. Ah, sempurna sekali. Namun, takdir berkata lain, Anjani. Temanku batal. Aku tak punya rencana cadangan. Mendatangimu tanpa persiapan yang cukup rasanya kurang ajar. Tapi, itulah yang terjadi. Di tengah kebingungan harus kemana seorang diri, aku nekat saja sekalian. Tiket baru kupesan tiga hari sebelumnya. Aku datang, Anjani. Malam itu rembulan bersinar terang. Dingin malu-malu menyapa tulang. Kutelusuri jalur bersama dua rekan baru. Entah bagaimana menjelaskannya. Bagai mimpi. Aku lebih banyak diam sebab masih tak percaya akhirnya aku berada di pelukm