Selamat Ulang Tahun

I rarely post something about my love life on social media, or even on this blog. Whenever I shared something here, my boyfriend would tease me that he never made an appearance in my stories. I would just smile, and we’d both laugh. It became a small inside joke between us.

It’s not that I don’t want to share my happiness. On the contrary, I actually enjoy sharing little moments of my life. But there are two reasons.

First, my last relationship didn’t work out. I used to post about us quite often, and when we broke up, those posts suddenly felt heavy. I felt embarrassed, almost as if I had shown too much of something that didn’t last. Since then, I’ve become much more careful about my love life and about whom I’m currently seeing.

Second, I cannot control others’ reactions after seeing my posts: assumptions, jealousy, unnecessary comments. But that’s social media anyway. You post, you bear the risk. There were many times I wanted to share something about my relationship, but I ended up cancelling it. So, now I just focus on what I can control, which is my own actions.

But today is a little bit different. My boyfriend is celebrating his birthday, and through this post, I want to share my gratitude :)

It’s been almost three years, and I’m truly grateful to meet him. I’m in the kind of relationship I used to dream about, one where I can talk about anything, even difficult topics. Although it has taken time on my side—given our different cultural backgrounds—I’m grateful for his patience and deep understanding. In discussions, we try to find solutions together, not to prove who’s right.

He gives me reassurance through both his actions and his words, so I never feel confused. He shows me integrity, and I’ve learned a lot from that. I feel like I’m growing into a better person I'm supposed to actually grow.

One thing I’ve recently realized is how his playful trait complements my more serious side. I think this balance plays a big role in our dynamic. And in this balance, he becomes a home I always feel comfortable returning to.

Experiencing love at this age feels very different from ten years ago. Now it feels like stability, without losing our true selves. We both have our own values, and we respect that. There is less pressure to perform and more space to simply be.

It also feels simpler. Maybe life at thirties already comes with so many responsibilities, so adding unnecessary complications is a no thanks. What we have now feels calm, honest, and steady, and this kind of love feels very precious.

Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag, Abang!

*I know you will be smiling when you read this.