2017: Break into Pieces

Hello. It's been a long time. Many things happened--the painful one. Thus, I need a little time to gather all the courage and get back to my rhythm.

2017 was just as wonderful as my previous years. I signed up for several trail races. The adrenaline rush and I enjoyed it a lot. I was in my best condition both physically and mentally. Closing the year, a heartbreak came, the worst I've ever had in my life. I reached the lowest point as a human being. The only mindset I currently had about myself was just uselessness. It led me once to a thought to donate one of my kidneys if it could make me feel useful again. LOL.

"Sometimes, we forget to appreciate a tiny progress we have made on a day. We only focus on the big result. I give you one Chinese proverb, man man lai. Pelan-pelan aja. Santai, Git. Apresiasi setiap progres, walaupun kecil." @rdudayev, 2018

Regarding the hard times I have been facing, I just realize I did many things in recent months. I learned to drive a manual car, improved my English skill, had a one-day-volunteering in a friend's garden, met good old friends and had a quality conversation with them, traveled, wrote a journal, tried new recipes, talked to the inner side, talked to God, read 8 books in 2 months, did sorting clothes and donating them, held an online garage sale, and held an educational charity for children in Flores. Not a big one, but who cares? The key is to keep moving forward and cherish every small progress. No need to feel low when seeing other's achievements because everybody has their own pace respectively.

Every person I met surprisingly heals me with their own ways and values. All of the words, stories, wounds, tears, pain, sorrow, and loss become valuable learning for their transformation into who they gorgeously are now, from which I can also learn. Their positive energy was sparking me in times I needed it the most. I was so grateful for the opportunity to meet them.

A heart might strongly break into pieces. I know it is scattered messily everywhere. The good news is, it will be collected and recovered not by someone else, but by YOU. You let yourself be happy in first place. You deserve every inch of good things in life because you just realize you are worth more.

Time will heal. Nature helps. Real friends are there.

Let's enjoy 2018!


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