True Color

"The only constant is change." - Heraclitus
My friend sent me that quote after I conveyed something to her, "When I was graduated, my desire was to get a job far far away from home. I felt very happy when I got a chance to work in Atambua. I didn't expect that a feeling could change. Now, I just want to spend more time at home, haha, I don't know why."

A quote from Heraclitus makes me suddenly realize that a feeling I've once had is not wrong. A feeling could change someday. And, probably, there's nothing wrong about showing an emotion we experience. The only part that is wrong is some people in our society cannot accept any expression that they don't commonly see. A social construction forces us to welcome values the society have been believing since long time ago.

Pardon. I'm just getting random. This morning, I found that quote and could relate a little bit to something I experienced in my last relationship. One day, I told my ex that I cried easily whenever I thought about him and our current situation (LDR). He was a bit surprised. He supposedly thought that I was a strong woman as he knew I was a mapala girl so I shouldn't have cried. Well, I got his point. Nothing wrong about his expectation and so is my feeling.

"Dear, if you see me like this (crying), it might be the real me. You should be lucky because I don't show it to everyone." then he replied with the same argument about what I should be.

Sad. I wanted to scream at that time. Is it hard to accept the true color of your gf/bf? Can't I show my weak side in front of the one I trust the most? Gita might look strong and independent for the world, but doesn't mean she must hide her true feeling when she is weak. She has her plus and minus. She just looks for a partner who can embrace both.

Girls, I want you to remember this: Every inch of your emotion is a feeling you don't need to be ashamed of or feel sorry about. No matter how strong you are, how independent your life is, a feeling is a feeling. Just be you.



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