2018: Life is Beautiful
Before it’s gone from my mind, I’d like to share my biggest lesson in 2018. If I have to describe it in one word, it’s a roller coaster (ups, sorry it’s two words). Stepping into the year with a deep wound, I was totally miserable. Empty. Lost. Useless. I hit the lowest point as a human being which brought me once to a thought to donate one of my kidneys if it could make me feel useful again. LOL. Now, I laughed loudly every time I remember that low moment.
So, what’s the biggest lesson of mine for the past year? It’s self-love. Yes, self-love. What is self-love? "It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth" (www.psychologytoday.com). It allows us to give a space for ourselves to see inside, dive in, and re-recognize the best version of ourselves. We know our strengths and acknowledge weaknesses and then try to accept them little by little, step by step. We take a moment to define our purposes and values in life as well.
Heartbreak is a hard yet beautiful journey. It taught me that our happiness depends on ourselves, not others. Therefore, it’s important to love ourselves first before we commit to one. I started the journey by reminiscing delightful moments in old times. What makes me laugh and strong, what variables contribute to my satisfaction level, what kind of people I’m happy to spend time with, what kind of conversation that makes me excited and fulfilled, and what is my true happiness in my simple life. This is a good break to explore what matters and what doesn't.
During the journey of loving myself, I began to realize that, actually, life is beautiful the way it is. The beauty is everywhere, even in small things. It’s giving a morning greeting to the security officer or cleaning officer in the office. It’s helping elders to cross the street or carry groceries. It’s receiving books from strangers and hearing they want to participate in charity. It’s watching two good movies in a day, all alone. It’s going on a trip with my best friend (solo is also great). It’s reconnecting with nature. It’s giving a tip to the driver or a meal for breaking the fast. It’s saying Merry Christmas to friends who celebrate. It’s volunteering. It’s bringing a reusable cup for morning coffee. It’s treating foods when hanging out with juniors. It’s saying hi first to the person sitting next when we travel. It’s having eight hours of sleep. It’s investing in SBN (and feel a bit proud of helping the gov with real action, LOL). It’s supporting national athletes and watching the match live. It’s talking with favorite people for hours. It’s meeting old fellas from the running community. It’s having a lunch prepared by mom. It’s dancing all of a sudden when a favorite song is played. It’s enjoying a city sunset from the rooftop. It’s appreciating little things. It can be everything at the time we are able to be grateful for all the emotional roller coaster episodes that have happened and keep doing our best to enjoy every second of it. Happiness comes from the inside as we see our soul is originally beautiful. Life itself is beautiful.
Rumi said, “Love is the bridge between you and everything”.
Live sincerely. Live bravely.
|Warmest greetings from Rinjani, a day before the earthquake