I always find it funny; When I lived in Atambua (small town in eastern part), I didn't feel lonely at all. Physically, I was far from my support system (families, friends), but mentally, I felt connected as we maintained a good communication. When I moved back to Bekasi (big city near Jakarta) meaning I was geographically closer to my friends, it was getting lonelier.

The emerge of social media significantly changes the way people communicate to each other. When I was in Atambua (2015), social media was not hype yet. If I wanted to know how my friends are doing, and vice versa, we would have a call. I had it twice a month at the minimum and we could talk for hours. Such a great feeling to have a talk with fellas after a long time.

Coming home in 2018, I assumed I could go out more with my people as we were on the same area already. But, things changed. Priority changed. In this time, social media had became a very dominant tool for everyone. No wonder it was easier to catch my friends on their posts than in real life.

To be honest, I'm a type of person who are not comfortable in using social media for knowing what my friends are doing (my boss said I'm a conventional people, haha). I was thinking: If we are in the same area (let's say Jabodetabek), just go meet up, bitch. By meeting in person, I can see their true feeling, their expression, their body language, and their appearance without filter. However, some are busy posting their life online while they lose moment to keep in touch with their closest offline. It's not wrong. It's their choice.

Another funny thing comes from a friend of mine who now lives abroad. We were chatting and I asked some pics of places she had visited but she told me to open her Instagram account and see her feed. LOL. You know, I asked it via chatting app because I'd like to give a direct comment, to hear her traveling story in details, which one is her favorite place, how much it cost, and so on. Simply, a real conversation.

In the other hand, recently I met friends who are not social media darling. First is my running mate (male). He said he no longer used social media for it helps him to focus more on his personal goals and no need to worry about other's lives. One platform he's still using is Twitter to keep him up to date to news.

Second is my high school friend (female) who works in Malaysia. We had a nice chit-chat one night and we see that, nowadays, some of our circles are probably posting just to seek a validation from others. Their happiness or achievement needs to be approved first by the world. Meanwhile, for us, the real happiness is just there; the time we feel no urge to post.

It's been a year since I stopped seeing people's Instastory. The anxiety level has decreased, peaceful and relaxed feeling started to embrace the soul. However, I realize that Instagram is a good platform to learn things I'm interested in. So, I use it to enhance my knowledge by following fruitful contents e.g. Jouska, Kebun Kumara, Kurniawan Gunadi, and Pick Up Limesusing my second account. Thus far, I haven't found any solid reason yet to check on my first account.

Social media is not toxic, it depends on how you use it.

Nothing more beautiful than real conversation in person


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